As a
thought-experiment, you could imagine that you haven't been born yet and
you get to choose which gender you want to live your life as. You get to be
fully informed about what the world is like, but all you know about your future
life is that you'll be a human being growing up (Significantly, you don't know
your race or sexual orientation.) Which gender would you choose to be? I think
some people would choose to be a man, and others would choose to be a woman,
and it's far from obvious what the wiser choice would be.
Although we don't get to make the choice we
develop love for our gender as we grow up.
I love being a woman. I am
proud of it and feminism would my team always. But being a young woman my mind
wanders to the other side. And i want to share that.
The cultural stereotype is that it's great to be a man.
Trying to convince a woman that being a guy isn’t a cake
walk usually ends with loads of examples of feminine woes. Of course, being
male isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and here are some reasons why.
1. Men have less freedom than women in some
ways. We women get a lot more leverage and flexibility in the way we dress,
what our interests are, and how we spend our leisure time. Men have fewer
socially acceptable ways to express themselves with clothing, accessories or
haircuts without being typecast.
2. Men really have no scientifically documented
hormonal issues on which to blame anything. Especially for being perverted
and having an irrationally high desire for sex in young age.
3. Despite the call for gender equality, most women
expect the guy to make the move. A woman could literally just go out by herself
and make no moves, yet attract the attention of men. She has far more choice.
She has the choice of going up to a guy OR waiting for potential suitors. On
the flip-side, a guy who just waits is statistically far less likely to attract
a woman that way.
4. There is a stigma attached to a male expressing
emotions.
It’s that we simply
weren't trained that way, or maybe it's a combination of biology and culture.
Because of socialization and the way gender roles are mapped out in our
culture.
5. There is a significant stated or unwritten rule that men
are to provide finance and security. They have to be the bread winner whereas
women have a choice to either earn or stay at home.
6. There's that word. "Masculinity." I
think it is a burden. It seems that men need to prove their manhood in ways
women don't always understand. We don't have to prove our femininity to anyone.
There is a lot of current confusion
about the role of a man, not quite so much about the role of a women. Men are
expected to be strong yet have delicate moments, be sensitive at times but not
vulnerable, be generous and courteous but not old fashioned or patronizing. Acting outside gender roles can result in social
fallout and be considered a sissy, or have their sexuality questioned (by both
sexes).
The world is complicated.
This may not be fashionable to point out, but its reality.
(To share your stories and thoughts here email me at smritijain.198@gmail.com)
